Light anecdotes

The doctor patient:.
- Something you a long time since there was no.
- was sick.



A man comes to a fortune:.
- I want to learn their fate.
- Tell me, dear, what is your IP address.



The teacher asks Vovochku:.
- When is your birthday?.
He says:.
- February 11.
- And what year?.
- Everyone!.



The boy approaches the father and asks:.
- Dad, we are Russian or Jewish?.
- And why should you know?.
- Yes we have a boy in the yard of a cool bike sells. So I think my bargain and buy or Gnus ** Th and break?.



- Please give coupons.
- My hands are busy, here is the Georgians, he will give.
- Slyushay, ti give yourself, your father - give, and your deti.
give rise!.





In the bus:.
- Mom! .
- So what, my daughter, I have five of them!.



Crowded bus braked sharply, and an elderly passenger is involuntarily grabbed the shoulder of the adjacent ladies.
- Listen, - she was angry - and you could not jump at something else?.
- Do not tempt me, madam!.



Moscow. Crowded trolley. In composter, pressing her back to him, there is a girl. The guy hands her a ticket:.
- Please feel free to Punch.
- Yes, you know, I'm uncomfortable ass.
- I finally can, it is best to punch.

Granny climbs into a crowded bus and shouts:.
- Careful, guys! .
The man to her:.
- A Cho, grandmother, bought a testicle?.
- No, I'm taking a bag of studs.


Now I drink only on days that begin with ' C': Wednesday, Saturday and today!.


They talk to two little boys.
- Do you love to watch cartoons?.
- Yes! .
- And I'm very much! .
- This is so afraid of?.
- Yes, so - include a cassette with cartoons, quickly shut the door to my room, shut the bedroom door and shaking under the covers.


During the fall of eighth- star did not have time to determine the desire and the next day won the multispeed bike with boobs.

You have not yet sent five wrappers cubes Maggi? .


The judge shall sentence the defendant - 25 years. accused:.
- What do you mean, to me in '83!.
Judge:.
- We do not demand the impossible from you - after serving as you can.


After visiting the dining car passenger can not find a coupe.
- Do not you remember his number? .
- No, but I clearly remember that the window was a birch grove.


Two drunken men read the newspaper.
a:.
- P- juice - drinking kraschaet life twice. Oh! .
- Tyr -p- p - sput. Trytsat!.
- In -o. And if I did not drink - it would be sixty!.


On the street a young man approaches a pretty woman.
- Excuse me - she says - but it seems to me that you are the father of one of my kids.
A man in horror:.
- I?.
- Calm down, - she says - I'm a teacher.



In the bus:.
- Girl, girl, let me guess! .
- Yes! .
- Just you hold on to the rail foot.


Little Johnny looks a little like my father paint the ceiling, my mother said to him:.
- Look, Little Johnny, and learn, grow up - my father will help.
- And what, by the time he did not dokrasit?.

We met two friends:.
- Hey, what do you do?.

- I work in the Academy!.
- To be more precise?.
- The Institute of Genetics.
- A more precise?.
- In preparing the material for a special group of experiments.
- Well, what exactly are you doing?.
- Catching of midges for experiments.


- Dad, tell me, what is opera?.
- This is my son, this show, which starts at 19:00, and when you three hours looking at his watch, they show 19:20.

husband:.
- Look, I'm already the third wash the shirt!.
wife:.
- Have you washed two?.
- No, I just started with the third.


The teacher asks Vovochka:.
- Why did the chicken comes from an egg?.
- He is afraid that will make an omelet out of it!.


Husband - wife:.
- Honey, what would you like to get on the 8th of March: SMS or MMS?.


The husband and wife stop in front of the shop window of a fur. The wife 's eyes light up:.
- Here's a coat I would like to have!.
- Then we must be born mink.


Little Johnny caught a bee, and holds her wings.
- Let her go! . - It is painful!.
- Yeah, but if I let go of her, it will hurt me.


- Do you know why the subway at the bottom of the escalator old woman in the booth?.
- Why?.
- It turns out there pedals!.


Myzh with his wife and young devyshka edyt in an elevator. Heozhidanno devyshka povopachivaetsya and stick in myzhiky poschechiny:.
- Shame on you, and even DURING my wife!.
The elevator stops, go devyshka. Myzh with yzhasom povopachivaetsya to his wife:.
- Ipa, honestly.
- C'mon. That I stroked her.


A student comes home for the holidays and shouting from the doorway:.
- Mama, I now have a boy!.
- My joy, and where did he learn?.
- What are you, he's only two months!.